{"id":2579808,"date":"2019-09-04T11:45:00","date_gmt":"2019-09-04T18:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dostoevsky-bts.com\/blog\/?p=2579808"},"modified":"2019-09-11T02:58:31","modified_gmt":"2019-09-11T09:58:31","slug":"grandma-got-run-drama","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dostoevsky-bts.com\/blog\/grandma-got-run-drama\/","title":{"rendered":"Grandma Got Run Over By Drama"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"grandmas\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Before seeing “The Farewell\u201d<\/strong>, think of the last time you\u2019ve seen a grandma in a movie- what did she do with her grandchild? Did she cook up their favorite meal? Maybe she was a tree and magically blew some leaves? Or was she a queen that told them they\u2019ve inherited a kingdom? Frail as they may be, grandmas don\u2019t fail to show their power and influence over grandchildren and Hollywood doesn\u2019t cease to show that weakness. Be it royalty, magic, or supreme wisdom, the grandma is there to help solve the conflict.<\/p>\n

Every now and then, especially in film, we\u2019ll see a tough grandma that stands up to threats to play up the drama or a loopy grandma that\u00a0can’t use tech\u00a0to play up the comedy. Though these personalities motivate a story, it results in grandmas lacking an arch for themselves. As an audience, we miss how grandmas are unique individuals and not a plot device.<\/p>\n

#CallYourNaiNai<\/h2>\n

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In the case of LuLu Wang\u2019s The Farewell<\/strong><\/em>, the grandma is<\/strong> the main conflict. I\u2019ve seen The Farewell<\/strong><\/em> several times and with every screening, the same thought would always cross my mind: \u201cNai Nai\u2019s so weird\u2026 and she\u2019s like my grandma!\u201d I mean this with great admiration to Wang or her grandma because I (with the rest of the audience) couldn\u2019t help but laugh when she pesters her grandchild Billi, her grandchild. Over the phone, you hear the familiar fuss to stay warm, be careful of strangers, wear a hat and yet, the role of Nai Nai feels unfamiliar to the usual grandmas seen on the silver screen.\u00a0 I mean it\u2019s obvious that a grandma\u2019s love isn\u2019t all the same but after watching The Farewell<\/strong> <\/em>you realize that it\u2019s Nai Nai and her love that sets aside the differences between the East and West.<\/p>\n

The Farewel<\/em>l<\/strong> displays a fantastic representation of what someone of the East and West confused on expressing familial love. Wang\u2019s summer indie blockbuster delves into the cultural differences that affect a family from two sides of the globe. What makes \u201cThe Farewell\u201d so impactful is that we are given a perspective of something we\u2019ve already experienced: the incapability of telling a family member how we love them. To summarize, The Farewell<\/strong><\/em> is a movie about Billi (played by Awkwafina) coming to terms with the imminent death of her Nai Nai (her grandma). Because of Chinese tradition, the family does not tell Nai Nai of her cancer as a way to respectfully carry the elder\u2019s burden. Instead, they throw a wedding to gather everyone for what could be a final family reunion. Initially, we want to side with Billi because it\u2019s her grandma\u2019s right to know about her health. After all, Western values show that families acknowledge the truth and not have to live a lie- or else, face the consequences.\u00a0 However, the film broadens our understanding culturally, why sharing that information isn\u2019t so easy.<\/p>\n

The Gambling Grandma<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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We already know between us and our grandparents, it\u2019s easy to point out our differences based on the fact we\u2019re generations apart.\u00a0 For example, one of the most interesting representations of a grandma in stories is the grandma from Dostoyevsky\u2019s The Gambler<\/em>. Technically, she is the wealthy aunt of The General- a widower with financial troubles. Outside her power and status, The Grandmother establishes that she is to be respected in the family. A woman like her holds nothing back and brings awareness to her literal name and title: \u201cGrandmother\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll men are crowing cocks, and that is why they quarrel. YOU, though, I perceive, are a blockhead–a man who does not even know how to carry his breeding. Lift me up. Potapitch, see to it that you always have TWO bearers ready. Go and arrange for their hire. But we shall not require more than two, for I shall need only to be carried upstairs. On the level or in the street I can be WHEELED along. Go and tell them that, and pay them in advance, so that they may show me some respect.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2013The Gambler<\/em>, Chapter 10<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

The Grandma – in “Dostoyevsky’s Gambler” – satirical fantasy – play, Russia<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

Strong and admirable she is, Dostoyevsky pulls no punches in showing the elder lady\u2019s flaws. She becomes addicted to gambling, has angry outbursts, shuns anyone who is not in her family, and eventually looses almost all her money. Basically, she\u2019s not the perfect grandma\u2019s we\u2019re used to seeing mentioned earlier.<\/p>\n

From Babushka with Love<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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In Russia they say grandmas, or Babushkas<\/em>, have seen some sh*t.\u00a0 Yet in the West, we picture a sweet old lady with open arms and a plate of freshly baked cookies in the kitchen. For a country that lies more in the East, Russia shares the familial cultural values that I not only grew up with but also seen in The Farewell<\/strong><\/em>. Traditionally, in the past,\u00a0 at a retirement age at 55, Russian Grandmothers used to dedicate their life to the grandchild<\/a>. This is still true- to s certain degree – throughout most of the Russian periphery. Similarly, with Eastern values, devoting one\u2019s life to a family is traditionally more important than one\u2019s personal life. Grandchildren and their parents\u00a0are to show respect acknowledging that Grandma overcame longer years of hardships in order to have a future with them.<\/p>\n

Over the Stereotype and Through Hollywood<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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In Hollywood, we see Grandmas as the angelic old ladies who carry wisdom beyond our years because if they don\u2019t\u2026they\u2019re evil witches. What I love about Nai Nai in The Farewell<\/strong><\/em> is that she is a representation for Western audiences to see how love is expressed in the East. It\u2019s an honest way of how she\u2019s good by being there for her family. She is wise but doesn\u2019t know everything about herself. She has a heroic history, but her arch develops on the bond between her family. She\u2019s organizing her grandson\u2019s wedding, but she pulls Billi aside to say, \u201cOne day, I\u2019ll throw you and even bigger wedding\u201d<\/em>. We don\u2019t stop and disagree with Nai Nai for showing more care to the other grandchild, but we empathize and accept her treatment as true, honest love. Unlike the way it’s played up in comedies and dramas, we overlook the generational differences with our grandmas\u00a0to accept overwhelming kindness. And that\u2019s what having a grandma is whether from East or West: unending, wholesome love.<\/p>\n

Talking to my friend after a viewing, we talked about how there was\u00a0a familiar feeling when we see\u00a0Nai Nai scold, \u201cStupid child!\u201d and \u201cYou still have fat on you!\u201d upon a greeting. We laughed and joked about how our grandmas would waggle their fingers or smack our heads. But we were certain of one thing: how much we love our grandmas who are an ocean and continent away.<\/p>\n